Bleed India?

Its 5 years and another election, another season to bleed the country dry! Who says that we have a slow economic growth rate or even that recession has hit the world economy? Sample this:
§ 14% of national contestants are corepatis
§ Compared to 2004, some contestants assets have grown by a whopping 3000% (and if these are industrialists, career politicians are not far behind)
§ The highest figure this year comes from congress candidate L. Rajagopalan who has DECLARED assets worth 299 crores, understandably so as he is the owner of Lanco.
§ The Karnataka Congress president R.V. Deshpande has finally declared his assets (after refusing to do so) and has shown 1611% growth from 9cr. to 145 cr. But he is a MLA so I suppose it doesn’t count.
§ Both the Congress and BJP are neck and neck with 12 crorepatis each in Karnataka Assembly of the 42 sitting crorepati MLAs. But again it’s a regional figure and doesn’t count as much; after all Capt. Gopinath still comes a distant 7th on the richest contestants list this year.
§ In Delhi a contestant, BL Sharma, declared that after years as a sitting BJP MP (1991, 96) from Delhi (having trounced HKL Bhagat) has nothing more than a paltry Rs.500 in hand and Rs. 15 lakhs in his wife’s name. Oh the Indian politician, nothing but serving the poor and needy!

Everyone heard how NONE of our esteemed national leaders even own a car! Ofcourse they don’t, when there is an entire official cavalcade at their disposal, what better use can there be of the taxpayers’ money!

In all this discussion, we never notice how noone pays a cents notice to the assets declaration of the left party contestants. Surely not because they, in their Bourgeois hating, have no assets altogether?

Well that’s it then, even though our salaries may be increasing at snails pace, someone can claim to be part of the continuously SHINING INDIA.

The Flying Objects of our desire?

With all this discussion going on about the shoe felony….given the chance and reason, who would you throw a footwear of choice at (lets keep it limited to footwear though God knows all of us would like to throw much more deadly objects at quite a few people)?

Let’s stay with politics for a while and contemplate on why Mr. Chidambaram became the target of the projectile. For obvious reasons it could not have been his predecessor, too much of a lightweight to be taken seriously. We all would have laughed it off like we do while throwing empty peanut shells at monkeys in their cages at the zoo.

Could it have been Mr. J. Tytler, the actual intended of the INTENT of throwing? Can’t say if Mr. Tytler puts himself in the eye of such a projectile often. Afterall all those who sin, sleep light and tread nimbly. Alternately if such a thing would have happened there could have been a general national murdering of shoes, just imagine a life without shoes? What would the kachcha wala RSS do, no brown shoes to go with the shirt shorts and topi? So there would finally be common ground among the Congress/allies and BJP/allies to not let such a thing happen.

The PM does not make a fair target (no comments there) and the SUPER PM would make a poorer choice (women should only get shoes, belans, things on fire, they themselves thrown at them in the privacy of their homes not publicly).

Let’s take Mr. Advani now, would I not love to hurl a thing or two at him? But wouldn’t Mr. Modi make a better statement (since he so loves to hurl hate speech at everyone around for being born non-hindu), or maybe Mr. Lalu (for having the gall to appoint his wife as CM and setting an example for his followers in crime) or maybe even Mayawatiji for having her goons hurl punches at non-birthday chanda-contributing citizens of her STATE. This is just too much confusion; I’d rather save my chappals for another pollitical day.

Or maybe I’ll just add injury to broken injury by sending away a thought or two towards SRK for his hairbrained schemes of multiple captains.

But truly I’d throw a couple of desi ghee laden laddoos at Aishwarya Rai for continuing to be as fake and frigid as ever, so unlike the warmth of ghar-ka-desi-ghee and boondi ke laddoos.

The curious case of the FLYING SHOE!

And suddenly A humble piece of footwear has become the MASCOT for political dissent. If George W. Bush and Wen Jiabao (the Chinese premier) are to be believed, the shoe is mightier than the pen, instantly imprinting embarrassment, indelibly!

Our suave Chidu is now in exalted company.

Gone are the days of the humble pie (Bill Gates), green goo (Johnny Depp, Tom Cruise) and champagne (Leonardo De Caprio), the FLYING SHOE has arrived.

Just a thought……would it have made more of a statement if the object thrown had been the lowly CHAPPAL rather than a Reebok, size 8 or otherwise? Apart from giving the chappal sales a push (if tales of surging Turkish made shoes in Iraq are to be believed), would it have given the BJP combine more righteous reason to harangue about the UNINDIANESS of the Sikh riots?

Never mind the gracious pardon from ‘Chidu’, Tytler remains free as a bird AND the grand old partys’ candidate for the umpteenth time.